yeah...je suis moi...c'est domage!!

alors....
mes amies et mon amis.....
j'ai fatigant.....
..............

i am me...
sumtimes i do feels lke
im sicks bein
NUR AIN AHMAD....

but sumtimes...ermmm o shud i say
most of d times
i do like bein NUR AIN AHMAD
=)

but i do feels like
lately....
i cant cntrol my anger....
lke i dd las wiks....
wen i suddnly yell to ptptn offcer...
huuu....
i regretd so much...
dats nt me...
sorrryyyy soo much..

erm...im no gud rite...
*iman da xkuat hahahaha
(pnah k ??)

heeee....
hve to learn lagi to cntrol my emo...
fufufu....

smiless....
heeee.....~~~

alhamdulilah.....

i juz receivd an e-mail from ptptn

webmaster.....

"PERMOHONAN ANDA DILULUSKAN"

alhamdulilah...

syukur sgt....

so my plan 4 extending nex semester is totally

cut-out!!!

heeee....

ma ayah u guys dn hve to worry bout my xpenses now...

pomis dat da sem break i'll do part time works ;)

and oso d sibs..i'll pay backs all

my hutang to al of u heee =)

no sugar daddy??!

im not too dsperates heee....

syukur sgt...

ALHAMDULILAH....

thnks d almighty ALLAH...

he listens to my prayers....

one of my wshlists

done...

my others prayers??

mny more....

hopes HE wil listens to them too

aminnn...

iALLAH (^_^)

d notes...

i hve sumtink bear in my mind...
sumtink...
sumtink dat mybe gona chnged me
in fture....
ermm...
at ds momnt...btter i keep it to myself...
i trusts no one...
demn...
even myself either...
jerk am i...
dey chnged me into this...
dey wan me ds way...

yeah myb soon...
soon...
i've been strong enough....

sumtimes i do feel like
i jus dunoe myself...
i lets emo tke cntrol of myself...
but i dn cursed others...
i juz cries alots....
*silent suffering*

am said to me...
no worry...
life's unfair but tuhan tu maha adil....

gaze into d darkside of me bfore...
i dowan to bcome lke i used too...
4get it...
i wont!!!

~~~~
off....

bljar utk menipu..

ak pcaye....stiap mnusia d ats mke bumi
ni pnah mnipu wlupon skali s'umur hidup dorg...

ak pon cmtu jugak...
but bkn skali...
mgkin bratos..bribu..bjuta...

persetankan sumenyerr....
tapi...
ak mnipu salunye
ntok jge hati org....
wlaupun sndri mkn hati...
tapi xsalhkn...
wlaupun hkumnye ttap bdosa =P
hehe...

mnipu dri sndri..
ermm tu da mcm sbati dgn ak..
biala...
tapi mang sakitla kan...
xde org kesahkn pon...
heee...

mnipu prasaan ermm...
dulu adelah...
heee....
sekrg?
adelah jugak skit2 =P

biala...bkn org tau pasaan
sbnar ak kan..
heee...
keep it to maself jaaa =)

"handle wth care"

fragile item.....

be in my shoes....

then tel me

hows shud i act....

hepynes to me is misery...

i juz wana b sumbody...

really wana b sumbody...

but i noe i am

NOBODY.....

im loking 4 sumone....

smone dat really worths to b trusts wth

smone dat really wl b wth me...

smone dat wil aways wipe my tears

n shared my fears...

i dserved no hepyness...

life's unfair...

aways....

i've gve d bes to others

bt

i only gain s***

i said im gud wth it....

bt

im not....

cmpared me to anyone...

i noe im a mess

im a jerk...

im no gud...

LOL....

life's threatening me...

i am weak...

weaker

days by days.....

cant really see d hepyness...

to me....

i cant really think....

dsrupted...really...

myb i need a cnselor....

haaa....~~
live lke im dying...

EID'S moment...

viCE veRsa...

evrytime i view dt page....
d tears was bout to drops...
im scared of being happy...
bcuz evrytime i feel hepy...
sumtink bad aways happens...

i've been strong enough all ds tme...
nw d times chnaged me,,,
im no longer d cold ain
lke i used to b...

my heart fragile...
huh.....
my heart rot in deepest sorrow...

mybe i've been dstined not to b hepy...
haaa....
maybe....
i tke too srious in ds frenships matters...
i dunoe hw others dscribed "frenships"
to me...
it's precious...
same as my family...
family=frenships...

i'd rather let my self hurts
i loves them so much..

"NUR AIN"
means "cahaya mate"
my ustazah used to say to me...
"dats y ur nme ain..u can see more than wat ur frens see"
at frst i dn really gt wats dat mean...
days by days....
slowly....
i've bcome close wth my ustazah...
she showed me d real path...
i've bcome less cntct wth my frens...
less lpaking wth them...

i've learnt so many things from her
i've tried my best to bring along
my frens wth me...
ermm failed...
bt i dn gve up easily...
bcuz i loves them so much...
slowly...keep on tryin...
ustazah aways wth me...
really dowan them lost
on ds fake world...

and now...
we've been separated...
but dey aways in my prayers....
and til nw we're stil frens....
n we respects each others...
bcuz we love each others....
guys..no matter hows much
u've chnged....
no worry..i'll b d same ain lke u used to noe...
grab me if need me
i'll mke my self free...
o u guys noe whre to finds me rite ;)

rmmber dis

E.N.R.Y.A.S.I (2003-2010)

F-renship
U-u
C-an
K-eep

no matter how far we've been separated
juz keep in our heart d trust n loves for our
frenships....
mish u guys so damn much
APGS(2002-2006)
(-__-)"

fish..ikan...ball..bola...slap...tmpar...kick ur a**

ermmmm
wat can i say?
no more.....
its diff now...
i can feel it...
totally...
u nt u a'more....

i was like mcm jerk hahaih....
imusm
d old u....

lalalalalala.....

tryin to let it go...
but im stil me
d pathetic one...

ds few days
my mgrain jdik balikk....
darn!!!
hate it....
too painful to bear wth....
thnks lke goin to throw my head away,,,,
on d left side...
d pain aways frm thr...


huh....

i wana b far away....
wsh cn mke d times mves faster...
heee... =P

LOL...
im a mess....
again my mom jz told
dat
our land applction,,
rejected 4 d scond times...
so sad...
i really2 dowan to moves...
ermm....
nw hve to tawakal...
no mttr wat's goin to hppn nex
i hopes my fams
stil wth me....

i hve no time to
thinks bout all d s***
stay away frm me..
dun brden me a'more....
haa...
i dunoe hw to love myself...
WATEVER!!!

ALLAH s.w.t
HE plnned evrytink...
HE dcides evrytink...
~~~

i-ciTy.......

cuz i've seen d drkside too ;')

the only exception~~

my memory getin "lose"
i cant even mmorize my own psword huu...
dats coz me poblem smtimes~~
heee....~~
im a mess in evrytink...
bla..bla..bla..

went to ptptn(6/910)
wth d-san....
ds time "bebel2" to dat prson inchrge...
*sory*
heee....
but i really wan a cnfrmation bout my applcation
status....
ds ptptn stuff really bothering me...
huuu...
im playing wth dates~~
12aug wen to do d pnolakn 4 pvious aplction....
13aug do my new applction
14aug rceived e-mail tllin my applction
TIDAK DLULUSKAN...

erm dat prson said
all my data is clear...
so shouldnt hve a poblem...
she said..goin to process my applction
in d mid of sptmbre...
erm....
hops thre wl b no poblem
exists a'more....
IALLAH...
guys pray 4 me ;)

thnks d-san keep me cmpany ;)

CLEARANCE?!
DUNGUN?!
is it COMPULSORY guys?!
heee......
dowan to go....
thnking bout d costs....
bus fare?ermm money to spends thre~~
huuu...
i'll tink bout it frst....
unless if ds raye u guys collect 4 me duit rye
hehehe =P
bt i do miss dngun ;')
sooo much d memories...
yeah past worth more;')

~~~~~

enfin les vacances~~~

WISHIN ALL OF U~~~

ROMMATE...

COURSEMATES....

BLOGMATES...

STUDYMATES.....

HAPY SEMESTER BREAK,,,,

N OSO

HEPY EIDS.....

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN....

DO TKE CRE URSELF....~~~

NJOY RAYE WEL... =)

LOOK AT ME!!!!

testssss....c'est domage!!!!

juz done wth french tests....
great wooo...
im juz blank ....
gomen...
i cant focused juz nw...
mind dsrupteD....
biachhh......~~~~
wtever...
hermm...
siyesly...
lately i cant really focused wth study
stuffs....

ermmm....
pathetic i am.....

dun really care at all....
my mind doesnt so really ready 4 ds
semster....
(i guess)
haaaa.......
wat say u bsfren??

i was juz like...
corpse....
wlking to class....
entring d class....
but don really "in" d class.....

i wish i can vanished all d
"shit" dat i know.....
"shit" dt chnged me at ds moment...
"shit"dat mke me losing my respects
"shit"dat annoyed me...
enough to say dat
euwwwwwww meeee.....

haaaa....
i wish i can.....

bla..bla..bla..
i dowan to b lke dis...
dun forces me to b a hater....
i've cleaned all
d grudges in my heart before....

dowan to build new ones....
i dowan to b....
cuz d one wl gt hurt is my self....

im nt d rebelllllll type....
naaaa.....~~~
wat de....~