BANJIR2!!!!! MERU....

rougeP -_- "

it so aint perfect....
dis is me during study weeks...
ergh...
during examination weeks....
i am soooo "WEEEEAKKKKKK"
sriously i cant really focus o stand still 4 studying...
i cant really stay up late...
ermmm....
sleeping tke place...
aiyooo....
lots of thing happnd b4 exam weeks....
fews ppl dat close to me cleared bout wt hppnd....
i've faced too many barriers...
too many problems...
too many confusals....
too many heartbroken....
too many pain...
too many...too many....
i aint soo pfrect to be patient enuff...
i aint soo prfect to not cursing....
imperfect...i am...
J.E.R.K.
i cant study....
out thre....
selling fish...
i noe i aint soo prfect....
i am nt prfect....
i noe....
b fair....
b fair...
b fair....
lives t life's....
t real life....
its aint u...
its aint only u...
thre're stil others....
humans!!!living humans!!!
dont!!!
dont!!!!
i need a bucket of attitude dwn hre....
keep me alives DEAR GOD!!!!
(-_-")

nice -_-

I Turn To You lyrics
Songwriters: Warren, Diane;

When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way, when I'm scared losing ground
When my world is going crazy you can turn it all around
And when I'm down you're there pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

For a shield, from the storm for a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you
For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on
For everything you do, for everything that's true, I turn to you

When I lose the will to win
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again
I can do anything 'cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
And when I need a friend you're always on my side
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/christina-aguilera-lyrics/i-turn-to-you-lyrics.html ]
Giving me faith taking me through the night

For a shield, from the storm, for a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you
For the strength to be strong and for the will to carry on
For everything you do I turn to you yeah

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
For truth that will never change for someone to lean on
But for a heart I can rely on through anything
For the one who I can run to oh I turn to you

For a shield from the storm, for a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you
For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on
For everything you do, for everything that's true
For everything you do, for everything that's true, I turn to you

kaoru.....WEDNESDAY IS MINE ^_^

EASE ME PLZ!!!!

IRRITATING....
I HATES DS PART....
PART WEN I CANT STUDY...
IM RUSHING HRE N THRE,,,
STTLING THIS N THAT....
OH GOD....
PLZ EASE ME...
IM BEGGING T-T
DS STUATION KILLIN ME...
I DN SLEEP...
EAT RARELY...
@#$%^&^%

sriously im in pain..
lots of pain...
haaaa...
unspoken pain....
dats d hardest pain...
d others studying...
bt i dn hve d spirits....
i dn get d force...
stil searching d calm side...
stil wondering..
y do i do that....
i gt 3 attck in a day..
darn...
its worsen...
d mdcine beg...
hve to aways by mysde...
evn nt heping totally... =(

im lokin 4ward 4 sumtink...
4 sum mracles to hppens...
really hopes...
some confusal hppnd in d repot...
ermm... -_-"
keep going rougep
go...go...go...
i tink i really need
softball nw..
really wana hits sumtink.....
im not okay!!!!
daijobou ja nai!!!!

wat de haaaa,,,,,

all my lil sis fault...
im currently listening to hndstan songs
hahahahaha...
DEA...dea...
i was home once wen saw her..
wth her bju kurung skola...
she was about to go to skool
bt bcause of hndustan..
she refused to moves an inch...
erghhh...
later wen her fren come...she ask dat
girl to go frst...
aish....
very hard for her to swtch t button
off....
hahahhaa...
i juz leave her til die puas hahahaha....
few mins later...
she turned off d dvd and off to skool...
mcm2 hal....
;)
kids....

i dn get it...

i juz cant get enuff...
i have to say dis..
i dn have d strength...
to gt thru all dis...
i am...
i am niL...
starts felink so Sh**TY....
things gt differnt...
anywhre..anymomnt..
im loking into d mirror...
pathetic faces of mine...
stress out...
about evrytink...
killing sum spirits in me...
-_-"

more on headache....

• Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, facial pallor, cold hands, cold feet, and sensitivity to light and sound commonly accompany migraine headaches. As a result of this sensitivity to light and sound, migraine sufferers usually prefer to lie in a quiet, dark room during an attack. A typical attack lasts between 4 and 72 hours.

im in.....darn...

· Caffeine and migraine

· Caffeine is contained in many food products (cola, tea, chocolates, coffee) and OTC analgesics. Caffeine in low doses can increase alertness and energy, but caffeine in high doses can cause insomnia, irritability, anxiety, and headaches. The over-use of caffeine-containing analgesics causes rebound headaches. Furthermore, individuals who consume high levels of caffeine regularly are more prone to develop withdrawal headaches when caffeine is stopped abruptly.

study + sleeps...

well examination jux arnd d crner...
n my sleeping schedule bgins to chnge..
haaa...
ds is me..
i'll sleeps oftenly during study weeks...
ermm study?
ish...ish..ish...
i dn put so much xpectation
ds sem..
snce i noe n im very clear
wth my stdying style...
often skipped class..
less focused...
"DESSERTS"
ooops wasnt dat words...
"STRESSED"
d rite term heee...
i hve to meet psychiatric*dunoe hw to spell la =P
really need to learn
hw to hndle stress..
-_-"
hops i'll b pass o....
only GOD noe wat's goin to hppen nex...
i need my spirits bck..
..T-T..
ouh please...please...
tke away my anxiety....

cry baby...

i

yes i do loves kids...
heeee...
dey're cute....
n funs to b with...
but...
smetimes...
penat jugak mlayan...
ngee...
i wsh i can b kids again..
all about fun + more fun...
its gud to b a kids...
no pain...
no anger...
no hates..
no problems....
ne....
=)
keep dreaming my dearself

LIMITLESS

BRADLEY COOPER + ABBIE CORNISH...

d story was fine to me...
juz fine ;))
i really wanna try dat pils...
NZT...
sooo cOOL!!!!
hahahaha ^-^
all seems clear....
but d effects la...
so damn pain...
hohoho...
headache+puke out.....
overall d mv jz fine...
i was bout to watch
never say never ouh bieber fever
hahahahhaa....
bt no lucks...
soon dwload jela .....
-_-"

im home....

u90...
rapid from punck alam...
ngeee....
rite nw...
we hve to owned a touch n go kad
4 riding a bus...
darn...
i dn have any...
wana buy dat time
no small chnge plak =(
"ty dt uncle if xde kad xbole naik ke"
-_-" 'ak ingin pulang'
then suddnly
*mykad*
ngeee gt touch n go...
reload n im on d bus da heee ;)
fufufu...
bt kinda leceh jugak kan...
haaa....
then dt drver stat drving like
s***
erghh...
safe arrv to shah alam...

u80...
fully packed....
so i waited 4 another u80.....
again...reloaded mykad..
n can ride d bus...
"ape duit ko ni dik"
dt uncle blaber wen my money
nt accpted by t mchine =P
LOL...
gomen ne uncle...
whole journey to KL..
haaa....so much memory...
*im alone*
-_-"
i put on mp3...
n starts doin my words search...

arrved...
Cntral mArket....
ngeeee...
my fav place...
im killing some moment thre...
-_-"
after a few momnt in
d ocean of memory...
im moving out...
walk a dstance
to get anothr bus
U33....

as usual...
ermm...
safe arrvd at home 9.30pm...
cun.
then gt into t room
sleeps..
haaa...so dem penat...

its been quite a moment
din ride bus..
buses i meant =P

im home...
juz wana relaxes my self...
;)

jin, kazuya gokusen 2

frenship...thre's a strong bond beyond it...
treasures urs....
mke them noe
hw much u loves them...
b wth them...
d power of
frgveness & love
clear all d msundrstood..
they are a part of ur hepyness
n sorrowness.....

apple to my pie...straw to my berry....

i noe d effects...
i noe its nt gud...
i noe its nt healthy....
BUT
stil taking it...

wat shud i do...
if nt taking it...
my head hurts....
i cant sleep...
have to tke it...

im over addcted....
sriously...
its hard 4 me to stops da...

i tke it...
wnever im in dpressd...
o wnever im nt in d mood...
dats d only solution
n my "healing stuffs"
kinda healing.yes.
but its killing slwly...

one wise man said to me..
wnever i gt t attck of mgrain...
find a quite dark place
and relaxes myself thre...
is thre any??
im gettin mre stress wen alone...
i starts thinking lots of tings
wen im alone...

its cold in hre...
puncak is awesome...
haaa...
til i caught a flu...
ngeeee....
so i bttr off to sleep
"bg headed"

*haaaachuuuuuu -_-"
esusme...

my drugs.... -_-"

my bodies feeling paralysed
d only solutions is abve...
bt im overtking them pr day..
cant help wth it...its in me...

fghting for??
stuck in d life's dat i neve ask for....
im paying my sins...
its gona take years? years more? n more years...
i fooled evryone...
wat i gona bcome?
this whole time...
i wore a "mask"
no one ever noe wat's really
in me....
it wasnt beautiful soul a'more...
it juz beautiFOOL soul of mine...
is thre stil frgveness n loves??
evry words..each words...
frever in me...
d story begin again..again..again...
really cant tel wats fture is..
i wish i hve d "witch magic ball" *baka
i'd thought it be easy...
bt no one blieves me..
i meant all the ting i said...

tke a listen to stay by miley cyrus

gtg...

in a nutshell....

under d coconut shell...
im a freak....
sriously...
ppl dn gt close to me...
u'll fnd out
hw freak i am.....

erm...
im d kind of thnking near d box...
nt outsde d box....
LOL....

sriously...
its hard 4 me to gt over smtink..
sgt..
even my form1 xprienced stil
here..bear in my mind frever...
such a kiddo...

ermm "cry bb"
gven by my bsfren.darn.

i easily falls into tears..
my weakness....

frst step is hardest to take..
living inside t box...
haish....
..........-_-............

lyrical myrical

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight

Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

shaking....

im nt well...
im nt okay at all...

im shaking in d middle of d nite..
having headache early in d mornink...

shrtbreath...

read + tears....

-_-"

funny.....

im laughing at myself...
hehehehe....
all my efforts USELESS!!!
haih...
no one's prfect...
but
unxpected tings occured...
ermm blablabla....
kinda angry at frst tme...
bt later on wen i tink bck..
yep!!!
its su**
wt d prpose of i stay up in
d mddle of t nite...
skipped class...
at t end...
dey gves shit to me bck!!!!
darn!!!!
enuff bein so kind hearted!!!
im sicks of bein bullied!!!
dey noe im weak!!!
dey noe i wont fights back!!!!
so treated me badly...
i cn smiles...
bt dats my pain!!!!
erm...
stops nodding ur head down!!!
stops acting lke ur angel in making!!!
shaitttt!!!
i noe whre im stnding...
i noe whch path to choose...
show some respects....
gth wth ur selfshness!!!
think!!!
plz think!!!
im sicks of putting others bfore me...
im sicks of stnding up 4 them...
im sicks!!!
wen i noe...i realize d true color...
im sicks of spending my nite
wth tears all around!!!!
im sicks im juz sicks of them!!!!
send me a guardian...
blew all t pain away from me...

i dowan to b lke i used to be again!!!

MEAN GIRLS!!!!!!! ^_^

sumtink more..
sumtink dat i neve meant to be...
erm....
sumday....
be in others view
be such a bi**h
be such a harsh
be such a sh**

heal d word!!!!

erm leaving d old me...

slowly i feel d chnges...
n i juz hate it....
i don like it ds way...
be t part of
"haters club"
shaitttttttt!!!!!LMAO!!!!

study week!!!!!

well guys...
all fellows frens...
all d best 4 ds coming final...
do ur best...

spent ur stadi week wisely...
whoever yg pulang to hmetown...
do tke care...
ur health n ur life...

haaa...
i'll b staying hre in collge...
alonee.....-_-"
gt some stuffs to sttle...
4 d las eseimen...
drwing n editing...
insyaALLAH...
d forces wth me...
ds gona b my last n final eseimen to do...
no more aftrdis...

afterall.......

i shudnt starts at frst place.....
hermm.....
now....
it is too late...
too late 4 me....
i neve cant stops...
neve cant avoids...
afterall..
im ADDICTED!!!!
i realized dat my nerves level gt highs...
n i easily dstracted..
n easily gt tired....
but d headache
kinda healing wen i drnk dat "poison"
its much helping me cmpared to
mdcine gven by doc....
n lately..
i feel incmplete wthout it
in my single day..
ermmm...hard 4 me to stops nw...

erm..
im stying in a cllge nw...
funny...
gt nw "sster"
heee...
dt girl rminds me of pnkish lalalalaa~~.
i juz mish MELATI aftrall...
we're nt really tlking to
each other...
im nt frndly aftrall...
she often left me alone in d room...
-_-"
shud b fine...
xcept 4 rainy days wt thundr hoho...
pape jela...~~.

need my sleep nw...
dizzy...

4 better day

aint she's cute?....

heee...

bt dats nt t point here...

5 times a day....

smtimes i do skipped...

im getting far from HIM....

dats d cuz of my life dstrction...

i 4gt bout HIM...

i 4gt to say THNKS to HIM....

wen tings worsen

i blamed HIM...

-_-"

i wasnt a gud slaves...

to err is human...

bt i commits too many sins....

my lifes nt gettin btter..

my parent gve full knwldge bout rligion..

but im careless...

i ignore d aftrlife... -_-"

HMB4C1 w EN AZLAN SUPARDI cooL !!!

wat D la kan......

tot of staying up...

fuhh....

lately my body feel really

tired....

dunoe y...

ermm....

i failed to stay up mdnite....

erghhh...

nescafe??

doesnt helps at all....

2 glass o 3 glass 4 glass???

does nt hlping pon...

aiyoooo....

ermm...

guane -_-"

nt fuNNy!!!!

it tooks two days

i've been thinking....

then re-thinking..

then i think over + over again...

im scared of saying sumtink

dat i might regret...

re-thinking....

imagine if u far away searchin 4 right words

to say...

i wan to chnge ur mind but..-_-" (impossible)

i cant tell hows future looks alike...

jz live ur life...

again...again...an again...

forgiveness + loves ??

big ques rite...

i havent sttled d slides 4 my bel prsnttion...

-_-"

tests!!!

amagaD!!!!
i hve 2 tests...
but i study notink...
i cant 4kus.....
i juz cant.....
-_-"
im su**** ds sem...
bg L on my head nw!!!

nice ^-^ & peaceful..

blabber....

o ok...cool..
lately d headache..
attck me early in d mornink...
vomitting...
darn...
its mke me btter but it does hurt...
(dn ask y i often skipped class)

i tried hard wana quit taking caffeine...
but it ws like killing myslf -_-"...
hard to do so...
im addcted aftrall..
n nw my habits gettin worst...
i took caffeine mre than needed in a day...
"it was like drugs to me..healing but killing"
i have to tke them..
even i noe its nt gud...
i wana quit bt t forces nt wth me...

one time,wen i was in my room....
my views was so dem blurr...
n i cant stnd right...
i juz bumped on my bed...
til i gt awke.midnite.
myb my sleep schedules caused dat...
i often sleeps late...smtimes dn sleep...
(pvious post)

my snsntvity to sounds n lights
is high nw...
i easily dstracts...
i cant focus smtimes....
its pain....
aftrall...
i hve to bear wth it alone....

"you push me,i dun have strength to
resists o control u"
(maroon 5 neve leave ds bed)

all d aches....
forcing me too pstponed
my tasks...
darn...
-_-"
nuts bein me....

0-0
im nill...im notink...

got to go...

is thre no way to~

TO ERR IS HUMAN.....

wil dat put into consideration if

making any mstakes....

lil brat....

lil rascals...

lil naughty...

TO ERR IS HUMAN.....

making mstakes....

hards to admits...

most preffered is

blaming othrs

TO ERR IS HUMAN.....

its hard to mke nw starts....

looks bhind...

even stil realize d mstakes n chnges

stil hards to restarts....

hearts really begging 4 new starts,,,

juz d forces is nt thre....

awkward...

thunderstorm

thunder..thunder..thunder...

im scared of it....

i cant even stands alone when hear d sounds

o even watch it...

im scared...

wen it rains...

sometimes d rains comes tghtr wth t thunder...

during dat..

i'll extremely keep silent n sit at one place...

stil rmmber...

wen i was wth my frens...

we went out 4 dinner...

while waiting d fuds...

suddnly rain drops...

ok fine..

then d thunder starts...

flash here n thre....

OMG!!!

i keep silent n sit je...

sriously im scared..

haaa....

my frens wanted to go through d rains...

erghhh..

im scared...

totally...

dun mind if im wet but i juz cant bear d thunder....

T-T

she said to me

"don worry i hold u bck"

then we're both running lke hell

through d rain tghter..

haaa...

im glad dat we're safely arrived to our rooms..

thnks bsfren ;)

and now...

i aways keep praying dt i will nt b lefted

alone during thunder...

i'll cry under my blanket surely...

im childish rite ;(

i am...

but what cn i do,,,

no one's perfect rite =P

better sleep....

better sleeep needed 4 better day,,,,

better sleep needed 4 better mood,,,

better sleep needed 4 gud health....

better sleep needed 4 gud body activities......

better sleep needed 4 improvements....

sleep to me...

needed....cause...

wen sleep i don really tink bout nytink...

i sleep wen im sad....

i sleep wen im nt in d mood...

i sleep wen im in stress...

i sleep wen i dowan to tink....

sleep is d cure....

fortunately....

lately...

i refused to sleep....

i saw ting while sleeping....

its my hapiness bt it hurts at d sme time....

even its juz a dream...

a part of me happy....

i sleep in tears....

d tears accompany me.....

so guys....sleep 4 benefits ur body...

sleeps as long its does nt put u into any harm...

im wondering

too many confusion statements....

too many confession....

too many hearts hurts.....

too many words taken....

too many blamed...

too many pain...

MISUNDERSTOOD!!!

UNDERESTIMATED!!!

blieves me i hate chnges....

im nt bold enough to create new starts.....

need time...

we need time...

spaces....

both side hurts too much...

no one really noe.....

i feel d diff....

i can feel it evry day....

evrywhre...

at any time.....

juz need times.....

~x.o.x.o~

-_-"

bukan diriku...

Setelah kupahami
Ku bukan yang terbaik
Yang ada di hatimu

Tak dapat kusangsikan
Ternyata dirinyalah
Yang mengerti kamu
Bukanlah diriku

Kini maafkanlah aku
Bila ku menjadi bisu
Kepada dirimu

Bukan santunku terbungkam
Hanya hatiku berbatas
Tuk mengerti kamu
Maafkanlah aku

Walau kumasih mencintaimu
Kuharus meninggalkanmu
Kuharus melupakanmu
Meski hatiku menyayangimu
Nurani membutuhkanmu
Kuharus merelakanmu

Dan hanyalah dirimu
Yang mampu memahamiku
Yang dapat mengerti aku

Ternyata dirinyalah
Yang sanggup menyanjungmu
Yang lama menyentuhmu
Bukanlah diriku

black rose....

mish t old gud times....

wondering....
i've been wondering....
stil wondering.....
nt sure whter i tke d right way.....
o vice versa.....

i looked bck into t inbox....
haaaa....
its "pain"
juz "pain"

broke all d mirror....
dowan to see pain....
life's walking shadow....

i broke 2 cups las day....
sliced my fingers....
i saw blood...

it's aint pain at all...
its all in heart...
juz in heart......

~jar of heart~
christina perri....
wat a song...
my fav song 4 ds year....

tests & presentations arnd d corner....
im doin notink...
NOTHING!!!
im NILL bout everything....
fine...
wise man said.....
life's unfair....

i mke ting hard...
im complicated...
(-__-)

~dishechanted playing in my head~