y is dat soooo.....

i dunnoe whre to begin....
life gettin worst...
ok...
last nite metink bout CS ws held
at karah10...
i've told d-san earlier dat im not goin....
bt he did few times
psuades me...
n i juz dowan to feel guilty
n dats y i cme...
n oso it cuz of my carry mark too....
n i dunnoe y i rgretted so much
for attending dat metink!!!
mybe im still in d mood of frustrating dats
y i said soooo....
damn!!!
i was early dat nite...
metink shud b starts a 8.30pm
then dragged to 8.50pm...
no one is stnding to lead d metink....
n i've told dat our grup only send
d reprsentative but i mnged to
psuades othres to come...
bout d others grup...
wasnt all of them were thre...
n i was like...
wat de....
damn i was piss off....

then i stnd up n starts lead d metink....
im not supposed to do dat act...
but no one's stnding to lead d metink....
y dun u guys lead d metink
since u guys dat too eager n xcited bout d metink!!!!
i stood up...
i dunnoe whre i gt d strength..
i faced dis stuation b4...
i noe im not strong...
but dat nite i mnaged to cntrolled my emotion...
i lead d metink n
thre was no sncerity in my heart dat time!!!
all of them were bsying chatting hre n thre...
wel kind of sucks...
im talking to d wind?
to d dust mybe...
y showed me faces....
i f u guys nt so stssfy wth dat...
y dun u guys lead....
d coopertaion...
i knew it goin to hppened
dats is y i dowan to attends d metink
again..
i bcame d NKP...
seyes i dowan toooo
i stil can hold my tears dat time....
bt wen i heard voices dat not really
stssfy wth my NKP status...
i walked away...
i need my bestie dat tme...
my tears burst inside...

y? if u guys wan it...
grabbed it la...
me either dun need it...
im totally sad
so damn sad n felt lke a dumb...
stnding infront all of them...
jz imagine if im not in d metink...
who's goin to lead d metink...
i regretted so much la...
y dey treated me lke dat....
wel sory to oppa...
im not wllingly actually
pick u s d S/U
but d stuation
sorrry....gomen ne....

guys showed some respects..
if u were stnding at my plce
las nite...
u goin to b really pssed off..
bt ALHAMDULILAH...
i turned my anger into smiles
(no sncerity)
i try to jokes around...
damn..i hate metink!!!
i hate those peoples...
i hate it...
wanna b lke i used to b...
cold wth ebryones..
live in my ownworld...
wanna be heartless
wanna b rude to others...
but i noe i cant...

que sera sera...
wat wil b wil b.....
ap yg trjadi
trjadila.....

~~~